when they died by poppy gibson
This book thoughtfully addresses conversations about death and grief for children, presenting them openly through questions and answers. Before starting the session, ensure that the children feel safe and comfortable discussing their feelings. Remind them that it’s ok to experience different emotions and reassure them that they can share as much or as little as they like—no feeling is wrong. Encourage respect for one another’s thoughts and let them know that all feelings are valid in this space.
Discussion guide:
This session starts with a guided discussion around the book’s blurb and cover illustration (in that order), followed by a group activity and sharing the book together. This structure allows the adult to learn how the children feel talking about death and which questions are most concerning them at the outset. It also offers insight into the language they use when discussing grief.
1. Introduce the topic:
Begin the session by inviting the children to share their thoughts on why some people find it difficult to talk about death. Let them know that today’s session will focus on exploring questions surrounding death and how we think about it. Remind the group that this is a safe space for sharing thoughts and feelings.
2. Introduce the book:
Introduce the book When They Died by reading the blurb on the back before showing the children the cover. Ask them to share their ideas on what the ‘mysterious protagonist’ might look like. Once you’ve discussed their ideas, reveal the cover and ask them how they feel about the illustrator's interpretation of the 'mysterious protagonist.' Does it match or differ from their expectations? What do they think the illustrator was trying to convey through this image? Asking them to share their ideas about what the ‘mysterious protagonist’ looks like will reveal their personal interpretations of what ‘tall size and spooky’ means. It also prepares them for the cover of the book which features a cemetery.
3. Exploring the book’s content:
Now that we've explored the blurb and the illustration, what can we expect from the book? Agree with the likely response that this book will focus on questions and answers surrounding death. Explain that some questions will be easier to answer, some will be more challenging, and some may not have an answer at all.
Activity: griefiti wall
You will need bright-coloured markers or felt-tip pens and a large sheet of paper. For a more wall-like effect, consider lightly sketching brick patterns on the paper.
Place the paper on the floor, attach it to a wall, or position it on a table that the children can easily move around.
Explain that together, you'll create a griefiti wall with questions about death before reading today’s book. Ask the children to write any questions they have about death on the wall using the bright-coloured pens. Encourage them to write in a graffiti style, using a variety of colours, and to move around the paper as they write.
For extra support, display question words like "why," "what," "when," "where," and "will" to help prompt ideas. Some children may also want to explore their own artistic interpretation of the mysterious protagonist, which could be another interesting avenue to explore inspired by the book.
reading and closing the session:
After creating the griefiti wall together, ask the children to sit comfortably and read the book. Pause when a question from the wall appears in the story, and discuss their thoughts on the mysterious protagonist’s answers. Once you’ve finished the book, refer back to the griefiti wall and check if there are any questions that weren’t addressed in the book. Can we come up with an answer together? Finally, remind the children that they can talk to a trusted adult at home or at school if today’s session has brought up any new questions or feelings about death or their own experiences with bereavement. Reassure them that, as we talked about at the start of the session, many people find it difficult to talk about death. They’ve done really well today in sharing their thoughts and feelings, and that’s something to be proud of.